”People will forget what you do; they’ll forget what you said. But they’ll never forget how you made them feel.“
– Maya Angelou, American writer
Maya Angelou famously noted that while people may forget what we say or do, they never forget how we feel in their presence. In the world of guest experience, this isn’t just a poetic sentiment; it’s a way of showing up that makes a difference to those we serve.
In his essential book Unreasonable Hospitality, Will Guidara draws a sharp line between two often confused concepts: Service and Hospitality.
Service is black and white. Black and white means you are doing your job with competence and efficiency. It’s getting the right plate to the right person at the right table.
Hospitality is colour. Colour means you make people feel great about the job you are doing for them. It’s about engaging with the person you are serving so you can make an authentic human connection.
It is the technicolour layer of human connection that makes a person feel seen, valued, and understood. When we move from the mechanical to the emotional, we move into the realm of the unreasonable hospitality so bespoke and so thoughtful that it feels like magic.
In fact, Will Guidara heavily influenced the Disney TV series The Bear by bringing his philosophy of personalised guest service to the show. The Bear brings the reality of real life hospitality in a way no other show does. It’s stressful, chaotic, full of work and family drama – whats not to love?! I highly recommend watching it.
The Human Core of Digital Transformation
Over the last few decades, we have been navigating a massive digital shift. While technology has streamlined our lives, it has often left the human element behind. Many organisations have become so focused on the product that they’ve forgotten the person.
In a world that can feel increasingly transactional, the answer is simple, though rarely easy: Create a culture of belonging. This means asking the deeper questions:
How do we make the people we serve feel a part of something bigger?
How do we offer a moment of consolation or a spark of joy in their day?
The Requirement of Intentionality
Often, we treat hospitality as a soft skill or a luxury. But as Guidara reflects on his father’s career, he realises that true hospitality requires precision. Intentionality isn’t just a philosophy; it’s a requirement. It means every decision, from the most significant strategic shift to the seemingly mundane detail, matters. To act intentionally is to work with a clear purpose and an eye on the desired emotional result.
Turning Stress into Stories
Guidara has referred to another must read book in hospitality: Setting the Table by Danny Meyer. In his iconic book, a text I’ve taught for years in the Service Management course at The University of Queensland, Danny Meyer shares the story of a couple celebrating their anniversary at one of his restaurants. While enjoying their meal, they realise they had left a bottle of champagne in the freezer at their home. They ask the sommelier if the bottle is likely to explode before they get home. The answer would be a very certain, yes! The sommelier takes their keys and rescues the bottle, ensuring their celebration remains uninterrupted and their stress is transformed into a story they’ll tell for years. When the couple arrived home, they found the bottle of champagne nicely tucked in the fridge, along with a tin of caviar, a box of chocolates, and an anniversary card from the restaurant.
Creating magical moments like these is how all of us in our businesses (no matter what business we are in) can create a culture of going above and beyond.
Making Magic in a Transactional World
Whether we are designing a new service model or managing a complex project, we have a choice: we can stay in the black and white, or we can choose to be in the hospitality business.
Hospitality, as Guidara aptly notes, is a selfish pleasure. Simply because it feels good to make others feel good. We have the privilege of joining people in their most joyful moments and the opportunity to provide relief in their difficult ones. I find this book so valuable, I gave it as a gift to a Senior Manager at Sofitel Brisbane, a 5 star hotel in central Brisbane, who turns out is also my neighbour. Brisbane is a small city when you get to know just enough people. When I met her recently, she told me that she cherishes the book and has even listened to the audio version. I enjoy picking up the gorgeous yellow book from the shelf every once in a while as a reminder to myself of the remarkable power of giving people more than they expect. The beauty of the concept of unreasonable hospitality is that it’s applicable to any business.
Once you train your eye to notice extraordinary experiences, that exceed customer expectations, you start noticing every time a business makes an effort to create a remarkable experience for you. When my family of four took a trip to Melbourne after the Sydney COVID lockdowns of 2020 and 2021, we were deeply moved when Maha Restaurant packed in a surprise at the end of the meal. Maha is a superb fine dining restaurant by Shane Delia, chef extraordinaire, restauranteur, and TV personality. I learned about the restaurant when I met Shane’s mum, Doris Delia, at the Gwinganna Lifestyle Retreat in Tallebudgera, Gold Coast. My expectations were high but, wait for it … the team at Maha managed to not only exceed my expectations throughout the meal but also created an unexpected wow moment at the very end of the experience. At the end of the three courses in candle light, just before we left, a little box was given to us as a gift from the staff. Bearing the words, “Maha’s Secret Ingredient”, with that little circular magical box we could recreate a Maha inspired Middle Eastern culinary meal right in the comfort of our own home. It was a delightful touch of the light and warmth of hospitality after surviving two of the most horrid years of a global pandemic. Things were back to normal for now, and Maha was there to remind us of the good times.
More recently, I struggled for three long years to find a good hair stylist in Brisbane. Word of mouth from a lady I met at a Brisbane event led me to the discovery of Hair Nerd, a cozy hair salon that pops with joy and colour in every corner, in Paddington. Shantelle at the Hair Nerd Salon is a pro at cutting hair, has the loveliest personality, and from the second I met her I knew I could trust her with cutting my locks back to how I like them: short, disconnected, with a slight edge. Life is too short, and time is too precious, for spending an hour on blow drying hair and Shantelle gets it. I am super pleased with Hair Nerd’s epic work on my hair so I am sharing a photo. See below – isn’t Shantelle just great?! That girl knows her way with hair.
As a true genius at creating impeccable experiences, Shantelle knew the importance of leaving a memory of a great experience with her clients. She packed a packet of hair goodies for me along with some really cool Hair Nerd branded stuff as a welcome gift for me. Did I return? Hell yes! She has me as a customer potentially for a very long time.
I hope I have convinced you that you need to add magic to exceed expectations and be remarkable. Takes a ton of curiosity, precision, empathy, and the results will blow your mind. Go for it! I highly recommend being unreasonably hospitable.
